Book Reviews

Assertiveness For Earth Angels

Doreen Virtue

Affirmations, Self Improvement, Empowerment, Inspirational, Spirituality, Angels, Health & Healing

978-1-4019-2880-3

Do people take advantage of your niceness? In this groundbreaking book, Doreen Virtue teaches Earth Angels—extremely sweet people who care more about others' happiness than their own—how to maintain t... More

Apr 07, 2014 janellebuchheit
As a helper, healer, counselor and coach, I've found great value in Ms. Virtue's book, Assertiveness for Earth Angels: How to Be Loving Instead of "Too Nice." This is a book I plan to share with many of my clients, especially those who pride themselves on being supremely nice, yet aren't always affording themselves the same niceness in return.

When I first heard the title of this book, the word assertiveness really resonated with me. As an Earth Angel myself, I've spent many years practicing the art of assertiveness. I thought this book would be mostly a review for me, but there were also many reminders that I still have some work to do, in particular with setting boundaries. Doreen says "Boundaries are a form of self-care" and this is something I believe whole-heartedly. Quite often Earth Angels are so busy taking care of others they don't take time to take care of themselves. This book offers great wisdom, strategies and tools for being more assertive and taking care of your energy. There is even a section to teach empaths (those who are highly sensitive to the emotions of others) tools such as clearing, grounding and shielding.

I highly recommend this book!

I acknowledge that I received this book free of charge from Hay House in exchange for my honest and unbiased opinion.
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Apr 03, 2014 solitaireangel
I loved this book so much, I don’t find that I my self are an earth angel, yet I figured that if I as spiritual teach need to know more about my clients and how best to help them when they are unsure as to how to help themselves. This book is a great teaching tool as well as a great discovery tool about some of the most ask question in the spiritual communities.

What is an Earth Angel? In Doreen’s book she explains the characteristics, behavior patterns, and the psychological roots of many of the self-defeating thought patterns used by sensitive people who like to be helpful.

Earth Angels who are highly sensitive human souls that want to help others and yet have a difficult time saying no. They also tend to be in and out of abusive or manipulative relationships because they feel like they can fix everybody. They're afraid to make moves in life or knowing when to help or when to back off. Of course the definition is a lot more in depth than that. The she explains it in detail, but she also offers solutions to those that exhibit particular behavior patterns that are destructive or cause them to be taken advantage of. Doreen touches on spiritual elements such as crystals, negative energy, superpowers, how to find your purpose and how to stay healthy.

I hope you enjoy this eye opening book as much as I did. I too believe this will answer so many questions for so many people.

FTC Disclosure: I received this book for free from Hay House Publishing for this review. The opinion in this review is unbiased and reflects my honest judgment of the product
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Apr 03, 2014 erinshelby
When People Take Advantage of You

It’s a frustrating experience to have people mistake your kindness as an excuse to walk all over you. Doreen Virtue’s new book Assertiveness for Earth Angels is designed for those that she calls “earth angels”. As such, they repeatedly have the same problems in relationships. These kind-hearted people are taken advantage of over and over and they have a hard time standing up for themselves.

Do You Believe in Karma?

Assertiveness for Earth Angels touches on spiritual elements such as crystals, negative energy and superpowers. Christ and God are also mentioned, but the book makes no assumption that readers believe in the Bible. The book uses Virtue’s background in psychology to explain common people problems. What are the traits of a toxic relationship? Why is it so damaging to be in a relationship with someone who has a substance abuse problem? Virtue gives answers in a no-nonsense way.

Finding Your Life Purpose

The book includes a few tips on how to find your purpose and how to stay healthy. Virtue urges readers to “be your own authority figure” rather than seeking the approval of others when making decisions.

FTC Disclosure: I received this book for free from Hay House Publishing for this review. The opinion in this review is unbiased and reflects my honest judgment of the product.
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Mar 25, 2014 Reviewnow365
Assertiveness for Earth Angels by Doreen Virtue is a great book for sensitive people who have been sent to earth to help others. This book helps teach you how to love without being too nice. Are people taking advantage of your niceness? If so this book is great for you. This book will help you overcome your fear of saying no to people. This book is all about being nice but not allowing others to use your niceness against you .

Personal Opinion:
Personally, I love this book, it teaches the value of saying no to people who like to take advantage of our niceness. So many people like to use our niceness against us, and sometimes we need to be reminded it’s okay to say no. This book is very inspirational. I would recommend this book to all the Earth Angels. If you feel like you’ve been sent to earth to help people with your niceness then this book is great for you. Being nice doesn’t mean letting people use you.

Thank you Hay house blogger community for allowing me to feature this book on Review now.
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Mar 05, 2014 awakenandbegin
"Your need for other people’s approval puts them in control of your happiness. No one deserves that power over you."

Have you ever caught yourself using the word "sorry" excessively, talking too quickly so you don't take up someone's else's precious time, or being a people-pleaser? When I first read the table of contents of Assertiveness for Earth Angels: How to Be Loving Instead of "Too Nice" by Doreen Virtue, I was tempted to skip ahead to a few of the chapters with my name on them. Not too far into the book I was wondering: how does Doreen Virtue know me so well?

Once you finish reading this book, you will have a crystal clear idea of the differences between passive, passive-aggressive, aggressive, and assertive behaviors, and will understand why it is essential for all of us to strengthen our assertiveness muscles. We not only have a right to feel the ways we feel, but a responsibility to ourselves and others to honestly express our feelings and opinions.

A major theme of this book is the concept of personal power. Allowing others to define us, fearing them, and asking for permission to follow our dreams are all ways that we might be giving away our power. Ms. Virtue explains that it is peaceful to be powerful, and being powerful encompasses honoring our feelings and standing up for ourselves while respecting others' rights.

"When you say no, you’re modeling healthy behavior for others. Part of the reason why they may react angrily toward you is because it’s never occurred to them that they could say no to unreasonable demands put upon their own time!"

We are reminded that we have a right to have boundaries, and that we are actually helping others when we lead by example with appropriate boundaries. We are not doormats. We must create and maintain healthy boundaries with others. By having our own boundaries, we are teaching others that they can have their own healthy boundaries. Saying no to someone doesn't have to necessarily be a bad thing.

There is also a good amount of discussion of people-pleasing (one of the chapters I was eager to get to). Ms. Virtue provides excellent explanations as to why people-pleasers have developed their habits, and explains why the assertive approach is a much better way to live. What a relief to hear that faking being okay with things that are not okay is detrimental in every direction. There is a better way, starting with practicing expressing honest feelings once a day.

Assertiveness for Earth Angels provides plenty of real life examples of things one could do today to start feeling more valued and less walked-over. There is a chapter that provides very detailed descriptions of the different types of energy-draining personalities we might come into contact with, and how to effectively handle interactions with them (or discontinue the relationship, when necessary).

"Green flags are when you get frequent and continual inner nudges to take positive steps or make healthful life changes."

We commonly hear the phrase "red flags" to describe warning signals that we should not proceed. I had never heard the phrase "green flags" before, but I really liked that as a way of thinking about following inner guidance.

I wasn't expecting this book to get into practical advice about how to pursue your dreams, but I was pleasantly surprised when it did. Ms. Virtue simplifies the whole mess of "is there enough time?" and "am I ready enough?" with her simple formula of spending a minimum of one hour a day without exception on action steps towards living our dreams. There is never a perfect time. The perfect day to work towards our dreams is today, without question!

I would recommend approaching this book with an open mind. There may be some ideas or concepts that seem "out-there", but I am glad I didn't let that stop me from learning all of the amazing lessons this book has to offer. I loved every minute of it, and copied out plenty of quotes to refer back to. This was the first book I have read by Doreen Virtue, although I have seen and heard her speak. I will definitely be checking out her other books after this one.

I end with the ultimate call to action from Ms. Virtue:

"Don’t be a lazy lightworker! Pull your weight, get to work, do your share, and help the rest of us. There are real-world issues that need your attention, now!"

FTC Disclosure: I received this book for free from Hay House Publishing for this review. The opinion in this review is unbiased and reflects my honest judgment of the product.
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Feb 21, 2014 robinirishtree
I bristle when someone calls me an angel. One of my favorite t-shirts reads, “human.” I have always been adamant that we are all human and we are all special, but no one is less human or more special than anyone else. So, I approached this book with cautious curiousity. It is subtitled, “How to be Loving Instead of Too Nice.” I figured I could benefit from that lesson and chose it as my free book in exchange for my review of it from Hay House. As always, this review is soley my opinion.

I identified immediately with Virture’s description of Earth Angels as sensitive, naive, trusting, empathic individuals who want everything to be fair and for everyone to be happy. In fact, I tore through the book, finishing it in a day. The big lesson for Earth Angels is learning how to be discerning and assertive. We are people-pleasers who allow ourselves to absorb the energy and mood of those around us. We pride ourselves on being non-judgmental to the point of forgetting to choose friends and relationships carefully. Virtue insists that forgiving ourselves is a vital step in reclaiming our personal power, and helps the reader to do this by outlining ways to recognize toxic relationships and create boundaries with those that would take advantage of the Earth Angel’s desire to help. In reading this book, I realized that I have given my power away many times both because I wanted to keep everyone around me happy and because I was scared that if I used my power that I would get caught up in my own ego and become selfish and cruel. Virture is clear that using power for egotistical means often results in abuse. However, she explains that “power simply means that you honor your feelings, and have the courage to speak up about them without apology or trying to control the other person’s reactions” p 135. Earth Angels work for God, Inc and must turn worries into prayers by asking God and the angels for help in fulfilling their earthly mission. I highly recommend this book to anyone who has felt like they don’t know how to be a “normal” human and has ever been told that they are “too nice.” It will give you great peace to know that you are not alone, as well as down-to-earth tactics on how to act out of real love for yourself and others instead of playing it safe while yearning for people to like you.
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Feb 21, 2014 dreamgirldream
Have you ever picked up a book, began reading, and with each sentence consumed had that overwhelming, tingly feeling, that someone or something had sent that book in your direction? With Doreen Virtue’s Assertiveness for Earth Angels, that is exactly how I felt. Initially I chose to read this book, simply because I love angels. I had no idea that I would identify so deeply as being an Earth Angel myself. If you think you couldn’t possibly be an Earth Angel, you may want to push those thoughts aside, open your heart, and give it a read anyway. You never know, right?

The book is separated into five sections: Assertiveness Basics, Developing Assertiveness in Relationships, Being Assertive Out in the World, and Life Tools and Guidance for Earth Angels. As I started reading, I found myself nodding in agreement with each page. Yes, I avoid conflict, yes I am a people pleaser and yes I'm scared as heck not to be. Instead of just pointing out the attributes of Earth Angels, Virtue gives wonderful and accurate steps to learn to be more assertive, and take your happiness into your own hands. Instead of walking on eggshells, and making sure others are happy in order to feel happiness yourself, you can in fact learn to be independently happy! Simple issues I didn't realize I had were brought to light, and cleared. I find myself checking my emotions and consciously being aware that my happiness does not depend on the happiness of my family members, friends, or co-workers; If they are upset or stressed, guess what? I can still be happy! I don’t need to cajole them into a jolly mood to give myself permission to smile.

The amount of freedom I feel, just from reading this brilliant and necessary compilation, is inexpressible. It’s hard to explain how amazing it feels to say thank you one time, and let that be enough. (Instead of spewing gregarious thank yous at the baby sitter who filled in when our regular care-taker was ill, making both of us extremely uncomfortable. I can breathe again!

I can’t tell you how much I recommend this book to you. If you are thinking of reading it, stop thinking and just read it. Your self will think you.

*FTC Disclosure: I received this book for free from Hay House Publishing for this review. The opinion in this review is unbiased and reflects my honest judgement of the product.
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Feb 14, 2014 badastro
Assertiveness for Earth Angels by Doreen Virtue is like an American Girl book for spiritual people. It tells you how to stand up for yourself in common everyday scenarios that you might run into. Doreen lists the ways people can effect you negatively and spells out why and how you should deal with them. Like having a cheat sheet for jerks. It's helpful to have the answers and even if you can't imagine yourself doing or saying the things Doreen suggests, at least you know it's happening to enough other people that she wrote a book about it.

I like the frame of thinking of yourself and others as previous angels and so of course being a human is hard. You have a body and limits and can't do everything all at once right away. I like to use the concept to explain away being a perfectionist, because when I was an angel I was perfect and now that I am human, I have to lower my standards a bit, well, actually quite drastically. When I think that way, I'm much less frustrated with life in general, and much happier which I think is a good thing, whether there really are such things as angels or not.

I received this book for free from Hay House Publishing for review purposes.
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Feb 03, 2014 kathiethaw
Doreen explains in this book what an Earth Angel is.   If you are interested in this book, it could very well be that you are one.  Read Doreen’s description to find out.  If you are what is called a “lightworker”, sensitive person, or empath, this book is for you.  It can help you to deal with the overwhelm that sensitive people have to deal with, handling the density and negativity of the earth plane.  It can help you to better understand yourself and others.
 
I already knew it, but I am one of the Earth Angels.   I’ve been drawn to the helping professions all my working life.  And like Doreen describes, I’ve experienced the downside of being an Earth Angel – having one’s gentle and kind spirit being taken advantage of.  Doreen lovingly explains how to handle this.
 
Doreen takes you step by step through what to do about this problem, for the Earth Angel is here to help others, and needs to learn to deal with the downside of being an earth angel so they can accomplish their mission to help.  Assertiveness, boundaries, relationships, and some tools you can use to deal with your energy are discussed in this wonderful book.  Red flags for toxic relationships are also discussed in this book, as Earth Angels need this information.
 
Doreen, you hit a home run with this book.  This would make for a wonderful self-retreat, with one’s journal nearby.  Reading this book during a quiet and reflective time, which I did, was an awesome experience.
 
FTC Disclosure I received this book free from Hay House Publishing for this review. The opinions expressed in this review are unbiased and reflect my honest judgment of the product.
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Jan 17, 2014 monark
I could not put this book down. I never could understand why I am the way I am.. all emotional but loving , always reaching out wanting to help everyone else except myself...I am very sensitive, in fact my dad used to say things that would hurt my feelings and I remember my mom saying darn Karen your so sensitive you know how your dad is.. Ya well it still never went over so easy for me. My siblings just rolled with it but I'd be off crying somewhere. Yep In this book are all the answers to knowing about your Earth angel status. You agreed to come to earth and learn some lessons in a human body. There were parts that made me cry because I felt a deeper connection to why I am here through the way Doreen explains it. Why I love people so fully, even hurting myself in the process sometimes. And Yes I do believe in Fairies and Unicorns which is one of many in a list of things that Earth Angels are. I have already loaned this book out to a friend , who I believe is an Earth Angel as well. I received this book for free from Hay House for review purposes.
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Dec 14, 2013 BarbaraGraver
Referring to herself only as Doreen, in her many YouTube videos and lectures, Doreen Virtue is, in actuality, a Dr. of psychology with many years of experience in her field. Her approachable persona and the topics she favors can make it easy for us to forget this training but in reading "Assertiveness for Earth Angels" we will be reminded.

The book is neither clinical or academic and it retains Virtue's usual down to earth and engaging communication style. It is, however, quite obviously written by someone with a special insight into relationships and human nature. This insight makes it possible for Virtue to provide useable and clearly understandable life tools - tools which directly benefited me and are likely to be very helpful to others as well.

The third in Virtue's three part Earth Angel series, "Assertiveness for Earth Angels" begins by telling us just who an Earth Angel is so that we can tell whether or not we fit the bill. It's my guess that if your reading this post you will probably identify, but I'll share the specifics so you can be sure!

The Earth Angel is a spiritual, though not necessary religious, person entrusted with a very special mission in life (which they may or may not be able to consciously identify). Earth Angels feel a strong sense of duty and stewardship towards others extending even to strangers. They are highly sensitive, gentle, trusting and sometimes innocent people who are made happy by the happiness of others. And, this is something that can put them at risk.

Earth Angels are here to bring peace to the world. They may be lightworkers, indigo children or indigo adults and come from various heavenly realms (described in greater detail in Virtue's first two books on this topic, Earth Angels, and Realms of the Earth Angels). Because their mission is one of peace, Earth Angels may become "conflict-phobic." This trait, coupled with a natural desire to heal and uplift others, can make them targets for opportunistic, manipulative or even abusive persons and lead to difficulties in negotiating both personal and business relationships.
According to Virtue, assertiveness in all our relationships is key to an empowered and effective life. Practicing assertiveness, as she describes it, is a learned skill and "Assertiveness for Earth Angels" does a wonderful job of showing us just how to apply this important ability. The book helps us identify problem situations and people and use assertive communication skills in our everyday life, making it possible to avoid issues or, at the very least, prevent them from overwhelming us.

Cover Photo
Virtue defines assertiveness as an awareness of our own feelings and opinions and the ability to communicate these feelings and opinions clearly and kindly while, at the same time, honoring your own rights and those of others. It is a necessary tool and one which we can use in almost any situation.

Clear examples of specific relationship and communication issues are given throughout the book paired with workable strategies for dealing with others in a firm but loving way. Some of the scenarios and strategies included focus on toxic behavior, interrupting, correcting, one-upmanship, clinginess, unreliability, substance abuse, controlling behavior, gossiping, abusive behavior, and more.

Just as importantly, Virtue helps us identify and honor our own wisdom and intuition. Rather than ignoring our internal radar, or focusing on what the other person might be thinking of us, we are encouraged to check in with ourselves and develop an awareness of what our own higher self is trying to tell us.

I found this information immediately and personally helpful and was able to directly apply it to my own real life situation. Suddenly, I understood why certain behaviors made me so very uncomfortable. I realized that rather than chiding myself for not understanding others enough, the better choice was to respect my own intuition and factor it in to the process of deciding what sort of relationship patterns I should address or even avoid. For me, this step was a big one and I'm grateful to Doreen Virtue for helping me take it.

What I loved about "Assertiveness for Earth Angels" most, however, was the emphasis Virtue places on our reason for being. Whether you consider yourself an Earth Angel, a lightworker, an indigo or simply a member of the human race you are here for a reason. And that divinely inspired mission must be honored. When we give away our power or our peace of mind, we sabotage that mission and this is something that none of us should ever allow ourselves to do.

We are here, right here on the ground, far away from our true home in heaven for a reason. This reason is simple but powerful and Virtue presents it beautifully. People, she tells us, don't listen to angels, or spirits, or ascended masters or God. Instead they listen to people. This, in her opinion and mine, is why our voice is everything.
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Dec 10, 2013 Angel
Assertiveness for Earth Angels: How to Be Loving Instead of "Too Nice", Doreen Virtue
Doreen Virtue's Assertiveness for Earth Angels: How to Be Loving Instead of "Too Nice" is a useful and informative book that teaches the importance of being assertive. What I love about this book is that Virtue tells stories about her life, sharing an intimate look into her heart and her character.

A quick read, you could easily fill a weekend reading it. Makes a great gift, especially around the holidays.

Highly recommended!!!

I have received this book from Hay House Publishing Company for the sole purpose of review. My review is solely based on my opinion of this title.
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Dec 05, 2013 cindybuccieri
This book was amazing. I felt like it was written especially for me. Doreen covers several different situations and relationships where Earth Angels or those who are people pleasers tend to experience difficulty or discomfort. Reading this book helped me a lot. Sometimes we don't want to hear the actions or lack of action is hurting ourselves and even others. This book helped me realize that I don't need to "fix" people and that I can't change anyone. This was just one of the several lessons I learned. I also learned that I have to be true to myself and stand in my power. As I read this book, I recalled several past relationships where I did try to "fix" the other person or I became the person I thought they wanted me to be just to make them happy. Recognizing this fact about myself was a huge breakthrough. I know that I was destined to read this book and it came to me through miraculous circumstances. So thank you, Doreen for writing such an excellent book and what I definitely need to read at this moment.
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Dec 05, 2013 Gwynne

I’d never read a book by Doreen Virtue before receiving this one from Hay House. I’d heard of her, but to me, she was just the “angel lady,” and I wasn’t really an angel sort of person. Faeries, yes. Goddesses, yes. Angels? Not so much.

When I was looking through the list of books to review, Assertiveness for Earth Angels. It was the word, “Assertiveness,” that really got me. Standing up for myself, boundaries, all of that has been a huge lesson for me in 2013. I’ve come a long way, but I still have a long way to go as well.

So I signed up for it, and eagerly awaited it’s arrival. I was still, of course, a bit skeptical; I am, after all, not an angel girl (although that seems to be changing a bit…)

When it got to me, and I started reading it, I was pleasantly surprised.

First off, she explained what Earth Angels are. Those beings who have chosen to incarnate in human form in order to help heal others and the world. They tend to have strong feelings of having a purpose, but they also tend to be taken advantage of. A lot.

Yep, that was me. Taken advantage of. All the time. *sigh* Reading the intro chapters was like reading my life story.

Then she started getting into the more practical parts. What to do, how to change, how to handle things. How to stand up for yourself in a loving, and gentle, manner. In a way that you are true to yourself, without walking all over people.

One quote really stood out for me, and I have it written on a note card and taped to my office wall, right in front of me:

Never do anything unless you want to. Either don’t do the action, or go meditate and pray until you can shift your mind-set to one of happiness toward it. – Doreen Virtue

Wow… yeah… that one sort of blew me away. I’m bad at doing things just to make other people, even if I don’t want to. Even if I know I shouldn’t. All my life, I’ve been a people pleaser, and this last year has been about learning how not to do that anymore.

I also loved the ways that she pointed out how that people pleasing behavior is detrimental not only to me (or you ;) ), but also to the people that I’m giving into. This was a realization I’d been starting to have for myself, so it was a nice way to reaffirm that I was on the right track. When we give into others, we teach them to become dependent on us, and in a way, we hold them back from becoming who they truly can become.

Overall, I’d actually recommend this book to anyone who feels like they are people pleasers, like they are getting walked all over by everyone. Whether you believe in angels or not, there are some really solid ideas in here that can help you see the importance of standing up for yourself in a gentle and loving way.

I was not financially compensated for this post. I received the book from Hay House for review purposes. The opinions are completely my own based on my experience.

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Nov 26, 2013 timlarison
Throughout my life I have had people tell me that I’m generally a nice guy. Except once, an older co-worker, called me “too nice”. “Ewwww! what does that mean?” I wondered. If you’ve ever been labeled in this way, Doreen Virtue’s “Assertiveness for Earth Angels: How To Be Loving Instead Of ‘Too Nice’” is just the book for you.

“I discovered that there’s a vast difference between being ‘nice’ and being “loving’,” Virtue writes early in her book. She goes on to describe in detail “loving” behaviors which may not appear to be “nice” on the surface, with chapters on assertiveness, setting boundaries, recognizing toxic relationships, and more. I found Assertiveness for Earth Angels” loaded with practical advice for us nice guys and girls. There’s very little talk here of communicating with Angels, a prominent feature of other books I have read by the author. Instead Assertiveness for Earth Angels contains page after page of strategies for interacting with the everyday people in your life.

I liked how Virtue is vulnerable with her own struggles in the book. She categorizes herself as a former “too nice” person, and she is very open with how she transformed out of that mindset. She shares personal details on how she worked through a painful divorce and other challenges. “I’ve learned that when your back is pushed up against the wall (metaphorically), you find your inner strength,” she writes.

Another issue I have is being intimidated sometimes in the presence of authority figures. Virtue says that is a common trait of “too nice” people. “It’s fine to admire and appreciate people,” she says, “but don’t make them out to be separate from or better than you. Instead, let someone else’s admirable traits inspire you to reach for your own dreams!” I found the author’s wise words on this and other topics almost like she wrote the book just for me.

“If you have high self-esteem, you’ll choose relationships with nice people who won’t take advantage of you,” Virtue writes. “However, most Earth Angels are drawn to unhappy people who need ‘fixing.’ This gives them a sense of purpose.” The antidote to the condition of being “too nice”? “If you’re assertive,” Virtue says, “you know that relationships are built upon revealing your true self. Otherwise you’ll never feel loved, because the other person doesn’t even know the real you! The only way to genuinely feel loved is to take the risk of being your true self and then find that you’re accepted and cherished for who you really are.”

Assertiveness for Earth Angels encouraged me to be real in my personal relationships. It’s a valuable book for anyone who has a “too nice” streak in his or her personality.
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Nov 20, 2013 blessedelements
I think this book would be valuable for everyone although the book is directly targeted to those that have a strong calling to help others and often find themselves taken advantage because they are ‘too’ nice. In the book, they are referred to as Earth Angels.

Earth Angels are described as extremely sweet people who care more about others’ happiness than their own. Without proper boundaries Earth Angels find themselves in manipulating or abusive relationships because of their lack of knowledge in how to stand up for themselves because of their lack of ability of saying no due to guilt.

Through out the book Doreen Virtue gives personal experiences and lessons learned in her own attempt and success in learning and applying personal boundaries for herself in her own life.

The book is divided into four sections:

The beginning of the book explains the role of Earth Angels and why they accept an earthly role for their mission on Earth. Personalities and mindsets of an Earth Angel are explained and their importance in the world. Because of their sweet nature most find themselves being over whelmed with other people’s problems because of their inability to say no, avoidance of confrontations and deep understanding of an individual’s potential and deep desire to help ‘fix’ the other person. Often it is the failure of establishing boundaries that is the main reasons leading the ‘Earth Angel’ into abusive or manipulative relationships.

Part one deals with and sets a course on how to recognize their overly helpful nature and establish personal boundaries which will help them be able to say no without guilt and to acknowledge their right to be treated with respect.

The second part of the book explores developing assertiveness in relationships and identify whether they are toxic. Suggestions and guidance are provided to determine toxic relationship and how to separate yourself from them.

The third part of the book gives guidance in applying assertiveness in a positive way out in the world, to avoid drama and to maintain one’s own power to find the enjoyment of life. The fourth section gives key tools to use that will help to keep emotions in check and not drain one’s energy because of unwisely taking on too many problems of others. It offers techniques in remaining balanced and thinking of personal needs. Once finding their balance, the Earth Angel discovers their true mission to pursue on Earth.

This is an extremely well written book clearly stating ways to be assertive, without being over assertive, by establishing boundaries for yourself and with others. I read the book quickly because of organized and clear way in which it was written. I feel it is a useful instructional manual that can be referred to over and over again.


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Nov 15, 2013 rschechter
It is my understanding that Doreen Virtue is the most popular author in Hay House’s stable of exceptional and profound spiritual writers. And now I understand why. Assertiveness for Earth Angels: How to be Loving Instead of “Too Nice” is a book I can see myself reading again and again.

An “earth angel” as Ms. Virtue explains, is often a highly sensitive person who easily absorbs the emotions and energy of the people he/she comes in contact with and who typically puts the needs of others before themselves. Consummate people-pleasers, earth angels are prone to bouts of fatigue, anger, resentment, depression and other mental health ailments all because they lack the mental fortitude to know that their needs and lives are equally valuable and the skills to communicate this is a respectful fashion.

Understanding the gifts and plight of earth angels, Ms. Virtue explains how these are the people that emotional vampires are often drawn to and how very necessary it is for earth angels to implement boundaries that protect their time, attention, energy and other valuable resources.

This book is a quick read; one you will want to return to again and again whether to remind yourself of a valuable point or to remember practical suggestions. For me, it validated many of my experiences over the past 2 years and my suspicions that I am a highly sensitive person. If you routinely use words like “drained”, “invisible” or “used” and frequently find yourself attracting narcisstic, manipulative or needy people, then you will want to have this on your bookshelf!

*FTC Disclosure: I received this book for free from Hay House Publishing for this review. The opinion in this review is unbiased and reflects my honest judgment of the product.
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Nov 13, 2013 stephaniesherie
In Doreen Virtue’s Assertiveness for Earth Angels: How to be Loving Instead of “Too Nice” topics of schooling, people pleasing, living your purpose, and caring for oneself are covered. Although she quantifies the definition of an earth angel, most people can benefit from this book.

Throughout the book Doreen reminds the reader to take responsibility for their life and take action every day, for an hour, on their life purpose. She addresses feelings of unworthiness with clarity.

There is much talk about learning how to separate your own feelings from that of others, one of the primary causes of becoming side-tracked from living ones purpose. Taking in others emotions, feeling guilty, minimizing yourself to others, and abusing substances delay your divine purpose for being here and as a result, cause you to feel less fulfilled in your life.

On several occasions, Doreen suggests the beginnings of these self-deprecating behaviors are school. “We’re raised to be dis-empowered, unfortunately. In school, we’re taught that we must raise our hands in order to go to the bathroom, which is a basic and necessary bodily function. We’re taught that we have to raise our hands before we can speak, when speaking is another natural function….the unfortunate result is the we learn to squelch our natural impulses and instincts. We become overly complaint.” She references school again in regards to being assertive with authority figues, such as bosses or government representative, saying “…we’re schooled for years to fear and respect authority figures.”

I bring out her points on school because they tie in nicely with her conclusions about people pleasers. The connection seems undeniable especially in this quote. “If you pretend to be happy when you’re not, other people won’t trust you, because they’ll wonder in what other ways you’re being phony. If you force a smile or laugh, others won’t respect you, because phoniness shows that you don’t respect yourself.” For a people pleaser the forward motion required to become honest and authentic can be scary because it is actually quite a skill. When the intuitive person knows what the listener wants to hear, there is the temptation to control the outcome by saying just the right words to avoid conflict or win approval.

At the same time one is people pleasing, there is a tuning out of body sensations which Doreen calls a “divination tool” for being present to what is really happening. This tuning out happens through substances, shopping, endless internet surfing, lack of exercise, energy, and unclean and unhealthy foods. Doreen includes a wonderful checklist to discover and really hone in on what one is feeling in the presence of another so one is always in honor of oneself.

This book is easy to read and the chapters are bite size. It almost reads like a beefed up outline. There is the common theme of clearing stimulants from the body so one can truly feel and be honest and authentic in the world. She takes quite a bit of time covering different character traits, what they look like, and how to work with them. Some of them are fixer-uppers, toxic relationships, and people pleasing. I personally enjoyed the chapter in Part IV about creating more time and energy.

This is a very easy, accessible read and a strong call to action to live your purpose and not subordinate oneself to others.



Hay House sent me this book for my honest review & opinion.62acbda4ea7b494e80a8ab385a5cf787 Book Review: Assertiveness for Earth Angels How to be Loving instead of Too Nice
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Nov 11, 2013 ginadrellack
I repeatedly passed over selecting Assertiveness for Earth Angels: How to Be Loving Instead of "Too Nice" of the available titles from Hay House's Book Nook blogger program before finally deciding on it. Don't get me wrong, I love Doreen Virtue's work--I just didn't feel I qualified as an Earth Angel.

Then I read the preview. The Table of Contents alone had me hooked, so I downloaded the book and began to read.

Has she been following me around?!? Right from the preface, I completely resonated with what I read, and this book was helpful and supportive all the way through.

The book is divided into four sections. The first three explore maintaining boundaries while still being true to yourself through the scopes of personal, in relationship, and with the world. The fourth section provides supportive ongoing life guidance and tools.

That's the layout of the book, here's its heart:

This book will help you identify and maintain your own boundaries, while at the same time remaining of service to others and causing no harm.

If that sounds at all interesting, or if it makes you think of someone you know, go get this book right now. It is God's voice moving through, let it happen.

I was gifted this book by Hay House in exchange for my honest opinion of it. No FTC disclosures were harmed in making of this review. ;)
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Nov 10, 2013 Orsayor
Doreen Virtue has been a part of my life for years from her Angel cards, books, and videos. This is my favorite book by Doreen Virtue so far. I read this book in a few hours. It covered so many subjects near and dear to my heart. I know this is a book everyone can relate to on some level. I highlighted so many parts of this book that my book began to look like a Christmas tree.

The information in this book is very organized and straight to the point. This book is very inspirational and heartfelt. It felt as though Doreen was in my room with me coaching me along the way. If you are familiar with Doreen Virtue, then you can relate when I say she has a very calming effect.

I highly recommend this book to everyone.

If you are having a hard time telling people... no - then this is the book for you.
If you feel people take your kindness for weakness - then this is the book for you.
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