Referring to herself only as Doreen, in her many YouTube videos and lectures, Doreen Virtue is, in actuality, a Dr. of psychology with many years of experience in her field. Her approachable persona and the topics she favors can make it easy for us to forget this training but in reading "Assertiveness for Earth Angels" we will be reminded.
The book is neither clinical or academic and it retains Virtue's usual down to earth and engaging communication style. It is, however, quite obviously written by someone with a special insight into relationships and human nature. This insight makes it possible for Virtue to provide useable and clearly understandable life tools - tools which directly benefited me and are likely to be very helpful to others as well.
The third in Virtue's three part Earth Angel series, "Assertiveness for Earth Angels" begins by telling us just who an Earth Angel is so that we can tell whether or not we fit the bill. It's my guess that if your reading this post you will probably identify, but I'll share the specifics so you can be sure!
The Earth Angel is a spiritual, though not necessary religious, person entrusted with a very special mission in life (which they may or may not be able to consciously identify). Earth Angels feel a strong sense of duty and stewardship towards others extending even to strangers. They are highly sensitive, gentle, trusting and sometimes innocent people who are made happy by the happiness of others. And, this is something that can put them at risk.
Earth Angels are here to bring peace to the world. They may be lightworkers, indigo children or indigo adults and come from various heavenly realms (described in greater detail in Virtue's first two books on this topic, Earth Angels, and Realms of the Earth Angels). Because their mission is one of peace, Earth Angels may become "conflict-phobic." This trait, coupled with a natural desire to heal and uplift others, can make them targets for opportunistic, manipulative or even abusive persons and lead to difficulties in negotiating both personal and business relationships.
According to Virtue, assertiveness in all our relationships is key to an empowered and effective life. Practicing assertiveness, as she describes it, is a learned skill and "Assertiveness for Earth Angels" does a wonderful job of showing us just how to apply this important ability. The book helps us identify problem situations and people and use assertive communication skills in our everyday life, making it possible to avoid issues or, at the very least, prevent them from overwhelming us.
Virtue defines assertiveness as an awareness of our own feelings and opinions and the ability to communicate these feelings and opinions clearly and kindly while, at the same time, honoring your own rights and those of others. It is a necessary tool and one which we can use in almost any situation.
Clear examples of specific relationship and communication issues are given throughout the book paired with workable strategies for dealing with others in a firm but loving way. Some of the scenarios and strategies included focus on toxic behavior, interrupting, correcting, one-upmanship, clinginess, unreliability, substance abuse, controlling behavior, gossiping, abusive behavior, and more.
Just as importantly, Virtue helps us identify and honor our own wisdom and intuition. Rather than ignoring our internal radar, or focusing on what the other person might be thinking of us, we are encouraged to check in with ourselves and develop an awareness of what our own higher self is trying to tell us.
I found this information immediately and personally helpful and was able to directly apply it to my own real life situation. Suddenly, I understood why certain behaviors made me so very uncomfortable. I realized that rather than chiding myself for not understanding others enough, the better choice was to respect my own intuition and factor it in to the process of deciding what sort of relationship patterns I should address or even avoid. For me, this step was a big one and I'm grateful to Doreen Virtue for helping me take it.
What I loved about "Assertiveness for Earth Angels" most, however, was the emphasis Virtue places on our reason for being. Whether you consider yourself an Earth Angel, a lightworker, an indigo or simply a member of the human race you are here for a reason. And that divinely inspired mission must be honored. When we give away our power or our peace of mind, we sabotage that mission and this is something that none of us should ever allow ourselves to do.
We are here, right here on the ground, far away from our true home in heaven for a reason. This reason is simple but powerful and Virtue presents it beautifully. People, she tells us, don't listen to angels, or spirits, or ascended masters or God. Instead they listen to people. This, in her opinion and mine, is why our voice is everything.
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